When Hell Is Covered By Ice
by MsDisney
Summary: The only time when it’s possible that Harry Potter, The BoyWhoLived, wants Draco Malfoy, the uncrowned prince of Slytherin, well, that is when hell is covered by ice and a red guy with fork, horn and tail is guarding heaven. This is a HarryDraco fic.


**A/N**: okey, this is my first fic, and I don't know if it's good at all, so please review, even if it's the worst thing you've ever read. Say exactly what your thoughts of it is, and I will do my best to improve. As you might see, I'm not so good at english, but I hope that you at least understand!

**When Hell is covered by ice**

**The only time when it's possible that Harry Potter, The Boy-Who-Lived, wants Draco Malfoy, the uncrowned prince of Slytherin, well, that is when hell is covered by ice and a red guy with fork, horn and tail is guarding heaven. Or, lets just say it's impossible, if we don't want to comlicate things.**

I should know. I am Draco Malfoy and I have a quite hard dilemma. I think I love Harry Potter, or I fancy him at least, but I know that will never be mutual. yes, I am gay. so what are you gonna do now? chase me with fire and scream Cock- sucker and shirt- lifter after me? well, I don't really care. I am a Malfoy, and a Malfoy is not gay. that's why I have to choose, either I can continue being a cold and worthy Malfoy, or I can prenounce myself as gay and run after The Boy-Who-Lived. does it seem to be a easy choise? well, I can tell you it's not. I really do want to have Potter, but I am not sure I'm prepered to give up my whole life for that, and besides, even if I gave it all up it's still almost impossible that he want me. But if we take it the other way round and say that I forget Potter, I will think about that my whole life and I'll blame myself for not giving it a try. you might think my feelings for him is like 'Oh what a gorgeous guy, I'd like to fuck him', but I can asure you it's not. I like the way he talks, the way he moves, the way he waves his wand... I like him just as he is, and I've never felt a passion bruning like this for enyone before. now I'm starting to sound like a desperate lover, but all I say it's true, I wouldn't tell this and humiliate myself for nothing, would I? oh bloody hell I can hear steps now, somebody's coming. fuck, fuck, fuck, can't they understand that I want to be alone? guess who it is? oh yes, ofcourse fucking Harry Potter, who just CAN'T let me be when I am about to decide witch way to walk. He said something but I don't listen, I don't want to hear his voice, because then it will be much harder to pick the Malfoy-road. and that is the way I have decided to take. before he came in and destroyed everything anyway. he's speaking now again, but I can't hear and I don't want to hear. nothing matters night now but knowing that I will never get Harry Potter. and that is not a very happy thought.

Harry close his hands around my shoulders and shake me, but I don't feel that my head is hitting tha wall, all I know is that Harry's hands burns like fire around my shoulders. he's screaming again, and suddenly I can hear everything.

- Malfoy! what the hell is wrong with you!

I don't know what to answer, but I give him a look so he know that I have heard and then he stops shaking me. My head is pounding after the hits, but I don't mind. The pain is waking my body up and make it work together with my mind, but as soon as they do, I just want to dissappear into my own world again. I can feel Harry. I can feel his hands, still burning against the thin t- shirt I'm wearing, I can feel his breath against my face and I can feel his worried gaze. I don't want him to touch me or be worried about me. that's just making everything so much more difficult. I wish he could just be angry at me or just ignore me. Then it would be easier to tell my heart, or where the emotions live, that it will never be something between us. my emotions and I, we aren't cooperating. I keep telling them to give up on Harry, because it will never work, but they won't listen to me. everytime he just don't seem to hate me, they wake up the hope again. I don't want them to do this, because I just get hurt every time. I lift my head and he's still glancing at me.

- let me be, I whisper, just let me be, will you?

He take his hands of my shoulders, but he is still starring at me. I feel relieved that he let go, but a little dissapointed at the same time. yep, that was my fucking emotions again. They are so unbelievable stubborn, I don't get it. He's hurting them every time, and still they suck up on him, like he's a veela or something. Emotions can't got much of a brain. Now I realize that he is still starring at me. Why? why can't he just get his fucking arse out of my life! doesen't he understand? the more he tries to help, the more depressed I get.

- What is it, Draco? tell me.

His soft voice is breaking through my world and makes my emotions dance like indians. Bloody hell!

- witch part of "let me be" didn't you understand, Potter?

my voice is stronger now because of the anger. My world is totaly fucked up, and it's his doing. I should hate him. I thought I hatded him, at least a little bit, until I saw the wounded look in his eyes. I am crying inside and I regret that I said that, but he just don't seem to get it otherwise. He propably dosen't know it, but hurting him is the last thing I want to do. I won't tell him that anyway. I don't want him to play with me anymore. He doesn't know how every single ones of that evil things he says is hurting me. Even if he's nice now, I know that he is not gay. I have seen him with all of those girls. laughing and kissing them so that my inside is screaming and ripping itself apart. Maybe we could be friends if he feels sorry for me, but I want more that a friendship. He won't understand it, and he won't be able to give me more than a that, and therefore I am not going to tell him. but it still hurts to se that hurted gaze in his eyes. Oh no, he's about to speak again!

- I want to know why, Draco.

why does he keep saying my name! that is worse than that gentle voice he's using!

- My world is fucked up.

_Motherfucker! _what in hell made me say that! why did I tell him! I had chosen the Malfoy-path hadn't I? well, a Malfoy never feel depressed, never! okej, I can admit that I doesn't look like I am in such a good mental form right now, but telling him will just make it worse! why do I always talk before I think? If I continue like this I will most certainly be _forced_ to take the gay-path. and I prefer to have a choice.

- Tell me.

Harrys eyes is pleading and I am on my feet in no seconds. I am running as fast as I can and I can hear him calling my name behind me, but I don't stop. I don't know where I'm heading, I just must get away from that awful tower. I am running out from the castle and in the forbidden forest, everything just to get away from Harry. Not that I don't like him anymore, but I can't stand seeing him pleading with me. I know I would have done something stupid if I had stayed there, like telling him that I loved him, or some other bullshit. I can't tell him that! he would kill me, and I would kill my future. That was almost as bad as suicide. He would never understand, or would he?

A/N: okey, there you go. If somebody likes it, I will continue writing on it, so please review and tell me what you think!


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